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This is where I occasionally write a piece about the healing process that I began back in 2000. You can provide anonymous feedback (which I'd find very motivating) by clicking one of the numbers under each post, rating it on a scale of 1 (awful) to 10 (awesome). You can also feed the fish by clicking on the water.

If you're looking for specific information on the Child Sexual Abuse issue, please scroll down to the bottom of this page and click one of the links of The Askios Projects. If you don't know which link you need, start with Askios 2010 which has information about all the projects.

Thursday, 10 November 2011

I see your knots.

Because your knots look like knots. Obviously! There they are, right in front of my eyes and I'm thinking why on earth does this woman not realise she is tied up in knots that only she can undo?? And, by a strange coincidence, this obliviously-yet-obviously-knotted woman is looking at me and thinking the exact same thing.

I see her knots. She sees mine. But neither of us can see our own, even though the knots are very, very similar.

That's often how it is with survivors. It's so easy to see where a friend is wounded, or how she's sabotaging her health and happiness. Why is it that we can't see it in ourselves?

I think it's because we've grown up with our knots. They started so long ago, and one led to another, and finally we're so used to them, we think that's how it's supposed to be. We don't see the chaotic mess that's grown and tangled itself around us, we see a pattern - the pattern of our lives - and we think that's just how it is. The way we are.

And yet along comes someone with a very similar tangle of knots and we see it straight away for what it is. You could say we RECOGNISE it.

recognise, verb: to know again:  to identify as known or experienced before:  to see the truth of:  to acknowledge the status of.

I need to become more aware of this. I need to realise that every time I see the unseen in someone else, it's because I'm recognising something, that it looks familiar because it IS. I need to understand that it's not some deep psychic gift or psychological intuition .. it's just a reflection of the Me I've been refusing to look at.

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